Nessun Dorma
by pandorabox82
Summary: Morgan has had a lot of time to think since returning home from London, and he decided to take some action regarding the hinky feeling he has regarding none other than Erin Strauss. But how will he react when he finds her silently weeping in her office one afternoon?


He had noticed, ever since returning from London, the high level of tension that appeared in Strauss every time she passed by Blake. If he didn't know better, he'd swear there was bad blood there, and that worried him. If this went on for too long, Strauss could very well slip off the wagon, and he wouldn't wish that Hell on his own worst enemy.

Making up his mind to go check on her, Morgan stood up, stretching a little before walking out into the hallway. He turned towards Strauss's office and noticed her assistant sitting behind the desk, looking over some files. Groaning, he turned around and went back to his office, trying to focus on his work.

A few hours passed, and he felt like he had accomplished nothing. Deciding it was time for lunch, he once more exited his office, looking towards her office. The assistant was still there, like a sentry guard, and he felt his shoulders sag as he got on the elevator. "Are you heading to lunch now, Gum Drop?"

Looking up into his best friend's face, he nodded. "Yeah. Do you want to go with me?"

"I'm always up for a good time." Grinning, she joined him in the car and stood close by him as others filed in as well. During the ride down, they both kept quiet, thought Penelope did reach out for his hand, holding on to it tightly for some reason. "So, what has you preoccupied this morning, Der?"

"That obvious, am I? Promise me that you won't laugh."

She nodded earnestly as they began to walk down the sidewalk, heading for the commissary. "I swear I would never laugh at you, hun. Now spill."

Morgan took a deep breath, glancing around at the other people. "I'm worried about Strauss. It's been less than a year since I took her to rehab, and adding Blake to the team hasn't helped her, really. There's bad blood there, Penny."

"I could have told you that. I did some snooping on the Blake woman, and it seems that she messed up, big time, on the anthrax case. Strauss caught it, and had to report her findings, resulting in a huge reprimand for the woman. It probably would have pissed me off, too, but Strauss was actually in the right." She paused, obviously thinking about something. "Oh, and double plus, Strauss asked if they could make amends, and Blake totally blew her off."

He nodded before placing their order, knowing what Penelope usually got. As they walked back to their building, he found an empty bench and sat, gesturing for her to join him. "Did you know that she thanked me for bringing her to rehab? She slapped me the night I took her there, and then sobbed the entire drive. I felt my heart break for her, Baby Girl."

"I think mine would have, too, Sugar. Did anyone visit her, while she was there? If I had known, I might have gone or sent her flowers or something. Anything to brighten her stay."

"I went there a few times, but she refused to see me." He took a bite of his sandwich and stared at the passing people.

"Her pride was wounded. She needed to work past that before she came home to us. Have you asked Rossi how she's feeling?"

"It was just a short fling. They tried to rekindle their old spark, and found they made better friends than lovers. Or at least that's the story he gave me." Penelope nodded and they finished up their lunch before heading back. "And now she's alone."

"Some people are made to be alone, Der."

"But I don't think she's one of those people. I think she thinks she is, but from the few times I've seen her interact with us, with others, she craves the interactions almost as much as she craved alcohol."

Penelope rested her head against his upper arm. "You know, this is one of the reasons that I love you, Derek Morgan. You care about others so much. She would be lucky to have a friend like you."

He smiled at that thought, squeezing her hand gently as they entered the building. They rode up on the elevator together and she left him to go up to her tech cave. Glancing down towards Strauss's office once more, he noticed that finally the assistant was gone. Taking the opportunity, he dashed over to the door and slipped inside.

The first thing he noticed was that the light inside Strauss's inner office was off. Frowning a little, he tried the handle and found it unlocked. Morgan turned it completely before pushing the door open. The dark was overwhelming and only served to highlight the music that was playing in the background. He thought he recognized the tune, but then, opera wasn't his strong suit. That was Rossi's provenance.

Listening a little more carefully, he heard faint sobs come from the room and he looked around, his eyes become adjusted to the gloom. "Helen? I thought I sent you to lunch."

"It's not Helen, Ma'am." Morgan heard her sharp intake of breath and wondered for the first time if he should have left when he noticed the lights were off. "Is there anything I can do for you? Is everything all right?"

He ventured further into the room, closing the door behind him. "I'm fine, Agent Morgan. Please, just…" She couldn't finish her sentence, tears choking her voice. He crossed over to the sofa where she sat and sat next to her, reaching out and covering her clasped hands with one of his own.

"Have you relapsed?"

She shook her head. "Please, wait for the song to finish. I love _Nessun dorma_ so." He nodded and ran his thumb along the seam of her hands as he listened to the song. It was gorgeous, and he could understand why she would be crying.

They sat quietly as the recording finished and then she turned to him, her blue eyes so luminous with her tears. "I haven't relapsed yet, Agent Morgan. Though I wish that I could. I promised my children that I wouldn't fall back into those old patterns." A few tears trickled down her cheeks and he used his free hand to wipe them away. Strauss looked away from him, a sad smile crossing over her features. "I can't do this, please understand. I'm just so _raw_."

The hopelessness in her voice startled him and he removed his hand to wrap her up in a tight hug, wanting to comfort her in some small way. He could feel her sobs, the way they shook her body as she clung to him, breaking down fully. "Shh, Erin. You're going to be okay. Maybe not today, or next week, or next month, but you are going to get stronger and stronger with each day that passes. And if you need someone to remind you of that, that's what I'm here for. I promise you." He had no idea where those words were coming from, but they felt right, for some unknown reason.

"While your offer is kind, I do not need a babysitter, and I am not looking for a lover." Her reply was low, her voice still breaking through her words, and he held her tighter, not letting her pull away from him.

"But you do need a friend at this point in your life. Don't you?" A deep silence fell over the room as she thought about his question. Morgan knew enough not to push her, to let her come to her own conclusions. Slowly, her hand curled around his upper arm, holding on tightly, as she nodded.

"Perhaps I do." She pushed away from him to look into his eyes. "I've come really close, you know, to slipping. Too close."

"I can only imagine what that feels like. Reid…" He cut off, not certain if she knew about the kid's troubles or not.

"He has his own battle to fight. At least his was involuntary."

He nodded, wiping away more tears from her cheeks. "How did you find out?"

"Agent Gideon told me before he left. I had long suspected that to be the truth, but when I found out the circumstances, I was glad that Agent Hotchner kept it under wraps." She sat up and stretched, rubbing her face fiercely. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."

"Don't be, friends catch each other at their lowest and help them to stand on their feet again. God knows that Penelope has done that often enough for me." An idea suddenly popped into his head as he looked at her, a small smile on his face. "Have you eaten anything yet?" Slowly she shook her head, and his smile widened. "Excellent." Standing, he held out his hand to her and she clasped it, letting him pull her up.

"What is going through your mind?"

"Something that might make you happy." A little smile danced around her lips as she went to grab her purse. "Do you mind if I drag Penelope along with us? She can really be the life of the party."

"A-all right." The idea seemed to overwhelm her, and he almost withdrew the suggestion. "But only if you think she'll be up for time spent with the Ice Queen."

He laughed a little at hearing that nickname fall from her lips. "She'll be more than up for a little fun this afternoon." Erin nodded and pulled out her phone, leading him out into the outer office.

Helen (as he now knew the assistant's name to be) was seated behind her desk and she looked up at them in surprise. "Agent Morgan and I are going out on some errands this afternoon. Please, hold all my calls or take messages for me."

"All right, Ma'am. Have a good afternoon." She nodded and let him lead her into the bullpen. Blake looked up at them in surprise and he just stared at her, daring her to say something. Hurriedly, she looked back down at her desk and he took hold of Erin's hand, leading her up the stairs to Penelope's office.

"Hey, Baby Girl. Are you up for having a good time this afternoon?" he called out as they entered.

"Sugar, you know I am always…" Her voice trailed off as she saw Erin standing next to him. "Chief Strauss! Is everything okay?" She quickly grabbed a few tissues and came up to her side, dabbing at her cheeks.

"I'm fine, Ms. Garcia…"

"Penelope, please." She smiled at the woman until she smiled back, and then hooked her arm through hers. "So, where is the party going to be held at this afternoon?"

"I thought that we'd go out and rent _Magic Mike_." Erin blushed deeply at the mention of the movie, while Penelope squealed excitedly.

"Ooh, and we could stop at that popcorn store on Bostwick Avenue and pick up some fun flavors! I have a ton of candy left over from Halloween, too, at home. This is going to be the perfect afternoon!"

Morgan was glad to see that his best friend was so excited about this venture and he grinned at them. "Well, let's head out, then." Penelope nodded eagerly and led the woman out into the bullpen. This time, five pairs of eyes watched them as they left, and he nodded to Hotch and Rossi as they got on the elevator. Blake was giving them major side-eye, and he just shook his head at her.

The doors closed and Penelope slung her arm around Erin's waist. "So, have you seen this movie yet?"

She shook her head. "Just the previews."

"Then we are in for a real treat." Morgan only hoped that this was a good idea, as Erin was starting to look more and more overwhelmed.

"If you don't like the movie, we can pick something else when we get to Penelope's. She has one of the largest movie collections I've ever seen." Erin nodded faintly, a grateful smile crossing her lips as she leaned towards him.

Once they were in the parking garage, he led them over to his car. The women got in the back and he watched them interact from his rearview mirror. Erin was subdued, slightly withdrawn, but smiling, and that eased his heart a little. He pulled into the parking lot of the popcorn store and let them out, not turning off the car. "Sugar?"

"I'm going to run to the Walgreen's next door and pick up the movie from Redbox. I'll meet you both back here in a few minutes." They nodded and Penelope clasped Erin's hand, leading her inside. It didn't take long for Morgan to complete the transaction and then he was going in the store.

By the time he found the women, Erin was holding the basket while Penelope was filling it up. Erin looked up at him, rolling her eyes a bit, and he had to press his lips together in order not to laugh at the reaction. "What?" Penelope asked as she turned to put yet another flavor in the basket.

"Don't you think we have enough, Baby Girl? I know I won't be able to finish off even a quarter of this, and Erin is tiny, so she won't eat much either…"

"Who said all of this was just for the three of us? I was thinking about bringing some to my group meeting this week. They wanted something other than cookies or cake." She shrugged and added another bag of white cheese popcorn to the basket. "Now, I just need you to pick up one of the extra-large bags of buttered popcorn and we can head out."

Morgan just nodded a little as she began to drag Erin up to the register. As he watched, he saw the woman stare longingly at the cotton candy, and knew what he would be picking up for her. Penelope had already paid by the time he joined them at the register and he shooed them out before going back and picking up a bag of pink and a bag of blue cotton candy.

He set his bags down on the front seat of the car, as they had once more taken the back, and began to drive over to his Baby Girl's place. Penelope hopped out of the car and hurried up to the door, slipping inside before Erin could get out. Morgan waited for her, though, holding out his free hand, not expecting her to take hold of it.

She did, though, grasping it tightly as he led them up the walk. "Sometimes she just gets really excited and the rest of us sort of disappear," he murmured, feeling like he needed to make excuses for his best friend.

"I used to do the same thing, only…well, I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. Thank you, though, for doing this for me. I needed to be pulled out of my funk." She squeezed his hand, and, for the first time, he wondered what had caused her to begin drinking in the first place. "Alan never really liked my spontaneous side, and I loved him. So, I changed for him. I never should have. Now, I'm not the person David fell in love with all those years ago, and I have no one in my life."

Erin's words were soft, brittle, and Morgan felt every one of them stab at his heart. "You could go back and find that girl, Erin. She has to be in there, somewhere."

"I wish. I don't think she's there, though. I did a pretty good job of killing her over the years." He could hear the tears come back to her voice and he squeezed her hand gently.

They were quiet the rest of the way up to Penelope's apartment and he found that she had been getting everything set up for them in the time it had taken them to get there. A bucket of ice was chilling some soda bottles, along with bowls of candy and popcorn laid out on the coffee table. "You guys were so slow! I had time to get everything set up. Now, hand over the movie so that I can pop it in."

Morgan handed over the DVD and set aside the popcorn bag he was carrying. Ushering Erin over to the couch, he had her sit in the middle before sitting next to her and then handing over the small paper bag still in his hands. "What's this?"

"Open it and find out." She nodded and gasped in pleasure as she pulled out the cotton candy.

"How did you know?" A genuine smile of pleasure swept over her face, and he shrugged, grinning back at her. "Thank you!" She hugged him unexpectedly and he rubbed her back softly for a second.

"There she is." She raised her eyebrows and nodded a little before tucking her chin into her chest, a slight blush staining her cheeks. But still, she opened the bag of pink spun sugar and pulled out a chunk, popping it in her mouth as Penelope joined them on the couch.

Watching the movie with her was a revelation into who she was outside the office, and Morgan found himself watching her more than the screen. Erin flinched at the first scene of drug use, and he winced in sympathy, again wondering if this movie was the best choice for her. While it did have nice eye candy for her and Penelope, there was a lot of drug usage in it. Slowly, he let his arm come to rest around her shoulders and she began to lean against him as it continued to run. "Well, those men certainly can move," she said as the credits rolled.

"Yes, they can. Do you have time for one more movie?" Penelope asked kindly, and Erin looked at her watch, nodding slightly. "Great! Let me find my copy of _Moulin Rouge_!" She jumped up and began to rummage through her movie collection while Erin sighed, her body language showing she was becoming more and more relaxed.

"I didn't know about the drug use, Erin. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I have to get used to it. Media never handles addictions well." Her head came to rest on his chest as she yawned lightly. "You don't mind that I'm doing this, do you? I haven't had a lot of human touch in my life lately…"

"You're fine, Erin, don't worry." She nodded and snuggled into him, seeming to become more comfortable once he had given his tacit approval. Penelope rejoined them and started the movie. By the time the medley on the elephant had begun, Erin was out like a light, snoring softly, completely trusting them to keep her safe. "I think her crying jag earlier really wore her out," he said softly as he stroked her hair.

"It tends to do that to a person," Penelope replied, pulling down a blanket from the back of the couch and covering her legs with it. "I'm glad that she let her guard down around us, though. I hope she had fun."

"Only time will tell, Baby Girl. Only time will tell."


End file.
